DNF ARC REVIEW: Squeaky Clean – by Callum McSorley

Title: Squeaky Clean
(DI Alison McCoist #1)
Author: Callum McSorley
Genre: Mystery, Thriller, Crime
First published: February 16th 2023
Publisher: Pushkin Vertigo
Finished reading: March 14th 2024
Pages: 384
DNF at 21% (81 pages)

“Yet another bollocks ‘case’ to add to her workload of other bollocks cases – her stock-in-trade ever since the Fuck-Up last year. Farmers didn’t work with as much fertiliser as DI McCoist did.”

*** A copy of this book was kindly provided to me by Netgalley and Pushkin Vertigo in exchange for an honest review. Thank you! ***

REVIEW

WARNING: it’s another unpopular opinion review!!

Right… I didn’t expect this to happen to be honest. There was just something about Squeaky Clean that made me want to read it as soon as I first saw it. I love a Scottish setting in my stories, and the mix of dark comedy and Scottish crime sounded like a match made it heaven. The blurb made the story sound SO good, and I was excited to finally dive in. Unfortunately it didn’t end up being the reading experience I thought it would be for me, and I ended up having to make the difficult decision to turn it into my third DNF of the year.

Before I continue I have to stress that I still love the premise of this first book of a new series. The idea of having a disgraced cop as one of the main characters is an ingenious one, as it opens up so many possibilities for both humor and interesting situations. Add the organized crime angle with Davey’s POV, and there was a lot of promise overall. The Scottish setting itself makes for a great backdrop, but here is were it partially went wrong for me as well. As a philologist, I usually love the incorporation of local dialects, but there is local flavor and there is completely overdoing it. This Glasgow dialect was an absolute headache and nightmare to properly understand, and with the majority of the plot being dialogues it was sheer torture to keep reading.

This wasn’t my only issue with Squeaky Clean though. I also struggled considerably with the main characters; they were all extremely unlikeable, and I honestly couldn’t care less about what happened to any of them. There was also way too much swearing going on; instead of making the characters feel more authentic, they became even bigger caricatures. To make things worse, I simply couldn’t see the humor at all, and there was not even a tiny chuckle to be found in the first 20%. This might have been partly due to my struggles with the strong dialect, but still… I spotted a few parts that I think were supposed to be funny, but the humor just didn’t hit the mark for me. Very disappointing to be honest, especially considering I usually love my humor on the dark and sarcastic side.

I initially attempted to keep reading by skimreading all the dialogues, but since that is basically the majority of Squeaky Clean I just couldn’t see the point of continuing. Especially since it was already abundantly clear that Squeaky Clean just wasn’t the book for me… I seem to be in the minority though, so don’t give up on my account if you think your knowledge of Glasgow dialect is up to standards and like the sound of the blurb.